!!NEWSFLASH!!
Article 1: "Enreged Penguins Mob City Bus"
Reported by: John Zeiler

It seemed like any ordinary day at the zoo. Children laughing, parents yelling, and large quantities of zoo goodies being consumed. But what would make this day bizzare would be the events that followed. A man by the name of Horrace Digmire had recently escaped from the state mental institution. After 72 hours of endless searching for him, the police decided that he must be dead.

NOTE: If you see him contact police. Here is a photograph:

However, intellegence agents working for our company say differently. It seems that Horrace had actually been planning this escape for as many as six months. Horrace laid out a plan that he could use to strike back at the city responsible for his imprisonment. In his cell, police found plans that Horrace ha made to design his mind control ray.

It seemed like a good idea, but Horrace was only able to control one specific species... the penguin. This of course made Horrace angry, but he was not about to let his work be in vain.

Horrace broke into the zoo on that fateful day and controlled the penguins into doing his bidding. With his army, Digmire was easily able to fight his way out of the zoo and to his hideout.

At his hideout, horrace began training the penguins in the use of hazardous chemicals, heavy weaponry, and explosive devices. When he felt the time was right, horrace unleashed the penguins' wrath in the middle of the city. Fortuneatly for us, the penguins made only one attack before being coaxed back to the zoo... The penguin army attacked a city bus transporting a group of nuns to a homeless care center.

We do grieve for the loss of these holy women, but we must also take safety precations. Horrace Digmire is still loose in the city, and it is unknown as to what he may do next. You are strongly advised to lock all doors and windows and if you see Horrace, contact the police immedeately

Good luck. And stay safe.


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